Just plain mean

A new trend?: Have you noticed lately that the crime--what little there is of it in the 8th District--has more to do with assault and battery, instead of robbery? And much of it is taking place in businesses other than bars, and not on the street? And the perps are older guys?

Here are some of the latest episodes:

• Saturday (4.9.11) 10:30 a.m.: Stop me if you heard this one before: A guy walks into a bar (Jimani Lounge, 141 Chartres St.) and asks for a beer. The bartender sets the beer on the bar and asks for his money. The patron refuses. He's asked to leave. Then it turns violent: The patron then threatens to kill the bartender and tries to pull his pistol out. Other patrons jump the guy and take his gun away. Then the guy pulls out a knife and points it at the bartender.

When the police arrive, they arrest Michael L. McClendon, 62, and charge him with aggravated assault, criminal trespass, and possession of cocaine. He's in OPP on $17,500 bond. The story ends after he does a little time in the slammer.

• Friday (4.8.11) 8:45 a.m.: Talk about a lack of customer satisfaction. 2 white guys, 30 and 32, go into the Red Lantern, 1133 Decatur St., a women's clothing store, and get into an argument with the owner. Must have been some argument, because an employee intervened with a combat knife. He allegedly stabbed one man in his left side and then stabbed the other in his back and hand. Both victims were taken to Interim LSU Public Hospital for treatment.

The police arrested the employee, Sylvester Westbrook, 56, and charged him with one count of aggravated battery. He is being held in OPP on $75,000 bond.

• Monday (4.4.11) 10 p.m.: A 53-year-old black bum went into McDonald's, 711 Canal St., and pilfered money from the cashier's tip canister. When a 52-year-old black gentleman confronted him about the theft and pursued him outside, where an argument broke out. The bum pulled a knife and allegedly stabbed his pursuer several times before fleeing on foot. The victim was taken to Interim LSU Public Hospital where he was in stable condition.

Police apprehended Leonard Brown, 53, and charged him with aggravated battery and theft under $300. He is in OPP on $30,000 bond.

One robbery, though: A 14-year-old black boy--who had no business being in the French Quarter at that hour--snatched the purse from a 23-year-old white woman who was in the Gateway Lounge, 401 Bourbon St., around 11:30 p.m. Sunday (4.10.11). He fled on foot but police quickly apprehended him.

It would save a lot of grief if the cops were more vigilant and got these little creeps off the street on curfew violations before they got into mayhem--and then go after their mamas for child neglect.

Dog and pony show: Well, a mule, actually. You know how impatient you can get if you're stuck in traffic behind a mule carriage in the French Quarter for block after block? This driver apparently totally lost it last Sunday (4.3.11) morning.

Here's the story we heard:

A carriage with 5 passengers was at Esplanade Avenue and Royal Street when a driver came up behind it in his car and began honking and screaming for the driver to "Get the hell off the street--I'm late for work!"

The carriage driver had no where to pull over, so after 2 blocks of this, the motorist opens his car window and his pitbull jumps out and attacks the mule named "Dixie". Before the dog's owner catches up with his dog, the pitbull tries to jump into the carriage and attack a 5-year-old girl. An off-duty police officer who saw the incident and jumped out of his car, drew his weapon and arrested the guy.

The police version is slightly different: Several witnesses got the dog owner's car license plate number and police located the owner. The LASPCA went to the residence and impounded the pitbull and issued a summons to the owner for allowing the dog to roam and no rabies vaccination.

The dog's owner wasn't named, but apparently the mule wasn't the only jackass in the story. The dog was released to its owner and the judge will decide if the dog is dangerous and should be put down. Perhaps he'll make a similar determination about the owner--sounds like he's the dangerous one.

Dumb ass: He was smart enough to get a gun and dumb enough to shoot it, killing a beloved French Quarter bartender over 2 years ago. But Judge Ben Willard ruled last Thursday (4.7.11) that Reggie Douglas (above) is incompetent to stand trial because he only has an IQ of 56, meaning he's retarded.

Douglas and another black boy--Drey Lewis (below in a snotty pose)--were only 15 when they allegedly gunned down Wendy Byrne, 39, on the night of 1.17.09 at Gov. Nicholls and Dauphine streets.

Judge Willard sent Douglas, who just turned 18, to the Feliciana Funny Farm "to undergo any and all evaluations to determine the proper course of treatment."

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Crimes last week in the 8th District
(Click on the Crime Map to enlarge it)

Sunday (3.27.11)

Auto Theft, 801 Poydras, 10:38 a.m.
Auto Burglary, 1000 Iberville, 11:13 a.m.
Pickpocketing, 300 Bourbon, 12:33 p.m.
Pickpocketing, 640 Bourbon, 2:48 p.m.
Auto Burglary, 700 Decatur, 3:22 p.m.
Auto Burglary, 700 Decatur, 4:12 p.m.
Bicycle Theft, 600 Frenchmen, 7:04 p.m.

Monday (3.28.11)

Theft, 225 Bourbon, 12:22 a.m.
Theft, 417 Royal, 12:08 p.m.
Theft, 521 Tchoupitoulas, 12:10 p.m.
Simple Burglary, 800 block of Julia, 2:26 p.m.
Theft, 339 Bourbon, 11:05 p.m.
Armed Robbery, 800 Gov Nicholls, 11:51 p.m.

Tuesday (3.29.11)

Auto Burglary, 1000 Conti, 4:19 a.m.
Bicycle Theft, 1014 Dumaine, 3:03 p.m.
Shooting, 900 block of Dumaine, 4:20 p.m.
Auto Burglary, 420 N Rampart, 8:00 p.m.

Wednesday (3.30.11)

Business Burglary, 100 Tchoupitoulas, 3:37 a.m.
Theft, 1415 Tulane, 6:37 a.m.
Theft, 621 St Louis, 7:04 a.m.
Auto Burglary, 1100 Annunciation, 7:40 a.m.
Auto Theft, 500 Tchoupitoulas, 8:20 a.m.
Simple Robbery, 700 St Peter, 8:32 a.m.
Auto Theft, Howard & S Rampart, 8:58 a.m.
Auto Theft, 601 Poydras, 12:06 p.m.
Auto Burglary, 500 O'Keefe, 12:49 p.m.
Shoplifting, 405 Bourbon, 4:10 p.m.
Bicycle Theft, Lafayette & St Charles, 7:46 p.m.
Simple Robbery, Bourbon & St Louis, 10:32 p.m.
Pickpocketing, 418 Bourbon, 11:43 p.m.

Thursday (3.31.11)

Shoplifting, 917 Decatur, 9:01 a.m.
Theft, 2 Poydras, 9:26 a.m.
Theft, 300 Canal, 10:20 a.m.
Theft, 107 Chartres, 11:31 a.m.
Auto Burglary, 1029 Bienville, 1:34 p.m.
Auto Theft, Poeyfarre & Tchoupitoulas, 4:57 p.m.
Theft, 522 Bourbon, 8:49 p.m.

Friday (4.1.11)

Theft, 312 St Charles, 8:11 a.m.
Theft, 221 Carondelet, 8:16 a.m.
Theft, 406 magazine, 8:37 a.m.
Auto Theft, Annunciation & Poeyfarre, 10:11 a.m.
Auto Theft, Dumaine & Royal, 1:13 p.m.
Theft, 831 Chartres, 2:07 p.m.
Bicycle Theft, 8 Canal, 4:51 p.m.
Auto Burglary, 145 University, 5:52 p.m.
Auto Theft, 600 block of St Peter, 10:53 p.m.

Saturday (4.2.11)

Auto Burglary, Burgundy & Conti, 9:31 a.m.
Auto Burglary, 1201 Convention Center, 9:56 a.m.
Theft, 419 Bourbon, 3:39 p.m.
Auto Burglary, Decatur & St Peter, 3:39 p.m.
Auto Theft, 200 N Rampart, 10:38 p.m.

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As always, your comments and suggestions are welcome at NOcrimeline@gmail.com

Thom Kahler